Dear Ladies...wait
“If you can love the wrong person that much, imagine how much you can love the right one”
As women we are told we have a time clock attached to us almost from birth. A time for us to have our first crush, first kiss, first boyfriend, a time to get married and have children before our ovaries shiver up. But what I really want to know is WHO STARTED THIS LIE? In old customs women were married off early but we live in a different world now. “A modern world” that is women forward, so why is this still something women judge each other over. “When are you guys getting married, you have dated for a decade now, when are you having kids you are almost 30”. These may seem like very normal questions but for some these questions are what create a toxic marriage. Theres women rushing into a marriage just because of society, even when they know they aren’t ready and more so the man isn’t. Just because a man proposes to you DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO SAY YES. Saying no is better than staying with someone who isn’t meant for you. Saying no is better than staying with the man who just cheated on you weeks, a month, months ago. Saying no is better than marrying a stranger just to be married first. That’s the reality we live in. Many women marry because of the stigma of failure or ending up alone. Ladies you are worth much more than the toxic relationship you try to hide and validate, you are worth more than the man who yells at you and lacks respect, you are worth x10 more than all the women he cheated on you with. Marriage does not come and wipe a clean slate like a magic wand. It’s a new chapter but not an eraser of all mistakes. I’m not saying that a man can’t change because I lived it, I know what a toxic relationship feels like and I also know that even though we were engaged we couldn’t go through with a marriage. But I do know what a change man looks like, and that isn’t just saying sorry and crying. That isn’t you tracking his location and having all social media/email passwords. It’s not you saying “I do” feeling insecure because you still doubt his faithfulness.
Stop telling yourself he’s going to change, stop telling yourself that all the years you spent together will be wasted without marriage at the end. All relationships teach us something and that might be to love yourself more than society does. Society wants to put your life on a timeline but God doesn’t. God wants you to be in a undying devotion marriage. He wants spouses to “spousify in each others love”. Even if that means waiting longer than the people around you have. Marriage is forever, well it’s supposed to be. Don’t be another divorcee because you didn’t listen to your gut. Sex, babies, more attention will not and can not fix a relationship for marriage. You can be the best mother, lover, women but what is not meant for you will never fit. You may think you won over those women he hurt you with because you are the one with the ring, but honey to him it’s just a ring. You are waiting to be chosen when you already were. God chose you, and he did not create you to be any man’s doormat. Put the clock down, put “failure” aside and let go. I promise you God already has someone for you, someone he created just for you but you’ll never meet him with Mr. wrong.
PRAYER FOR CHANGE
God help me to not rush what is meant for me. Help me to trust in you and your design you have for me. I feel like the people around me are in different places than I am but I know you have greater plans for me. Give me strength to let go of my long term relationship that isn’t growing. Heal my pain from my past to allow myself to appreciate a righteous spouse you designed just for me.
LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND. IT DOES NOT ENVY, IT DOES NOT BOAST, IT IS NOT PROUD. IT DOES NOT DISHONOR OTHERS, IT IS NOT SELF-SEEKING, IT IS NOT EASILY ANGERED, IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
WAIT FOR THE LORD; BE STRONG AND TAKE HEART AND WAIT FOR THE LORD.
Psalm 27:14
YOU NEED TO PERSEVERE SO THAT WHEN YOU HAVE DONE THE WILL OF GOD, YOU WILL RECEIVE WHAT HE HAS PROMISED.
Hebrews 10:36
A little worship never hurt
I believe music is therapy it can take us in a whirl of emotions and bring revolution some of us can’t find in scripture, or by reading. I want to connect with everyone who comes across this blog whether it’s by words or music. I want you to connect with God and feel the power within you. May every song I share with you bring a new awakening.